Smashed phones, smashed lives.

11902593_751292425017355_4365397549991654353_nCHAOS LIVING creates smashed phones, relationships and bank accounts. Aside from the crack & booze problem and other forms of chemical support.

COACHING provides the first steps in cleaning minds, habits and houses. Here when you are ready.

#skypeme #coaching #instagay #gayboy #lgbt #gayguy #gayman #lesbian #transgender #addiction #gayrelationships #homo #gaystagram #chems #alcohol #mentalhealth #gaypersonalgrowth #gaylife #gaylondon #followme 

Comedown Tuesday


Spending a pinned weekend clubbing, slamming and chemsexing you don’t see much light. Except perhaps for a lighter wallet, another lost phone and emotional disarray. Not a good look if you miss Monday in the workplace either. Get help, cut down, detox and make changes and see the LIGHT switch. #chems #gaylondon #gaycoaching #LGBT #clubbing #slamming #tina #gaylifestyle #gaymen #instagay #gayguy #detox 


Killing Conversation

27332318_10157234494059966_4586605276723177720_nWe know that digital use is killing conversation in LGBTQ circles as much as anywhere else. Apps have offered the opportunity to flirt without follow through. Nothing wrong with that. However if you just TALK in soundbites, emoticons and short texts that include the word HI as starters, you are not exactly in practice for the real world. Chems & Booze are not always the answer for shyness and low esteem so consider COACHING as an option to find your voice.

Cock pics may create a one night shag easy enough but it’s TALKING face to face that creates friendships and relationships of all kinds. #digitaladdiction #cuttingdown #personalgrowth #codependency #alcohol #drugs #depression #socialphobia #chaosliving #debtdisorders #

microsoft-kills-off-old-versions-of-skype-update-or-else-512587-2If you have any of these issues maybe it’s time to TALK to someone, 121 or Skype. Time to have a relationship with yourself maybe. #gayCOACHING 


Texting, Sexting, Nexthing?

I just don’t get it. Mobile Phones that is – and I’m struggling with Twitter. People who know me well know I don’t text, can’t text, won’t text. That sums up all this high tech malarkey for me. I can use my MacBook and Facebook with ease, create graphic blog sites like this one but the mobile just bores me to death. According to predictions for the next decade everything will be on MOBILE, including a microwave oven, so best if I accept now that my life is over. How, you may ask, can I live without apps for every thing I didn’t need to know, 400 free texts a month and 200 FREE minutes. Easy. They only want your money and new habits to squander. It’s all a scam to eventually fleece you. Stay focussed.


Ask any fashion forecaster how it’s done. Funny how pink is in one year and mustard the next, all the shops must be psychic, as they all piggy back each other. It’s a bold designer that says bog off – its mauve. It’s all a scam to make you feel on the outside.


no_cell_phones_allowedCorporate collusion is to blame for they know that when people suffer from the disease of never enough & needing to belong to something or someone ( co-dependency ) they will always want more until they get bored and demand a different hit. But blaming corporate collusion is also a cheap way out, for it’s us that purchase expensive gadgets, upgrade each year and stick names on waiting lists for a must have whatever. 800 quid for a bag anyone? Corporate & fashion giants just wait and watch like a dealer at the school gates or a Bank offering students ” discounts “. Nothing is for nothing. You’re hooked.


The concept of needs and wants comes into play in the fashion industry or any shop layout that puts sweets where we gather at the till. Once you see the game it’s great fun resisting and part of codependency recovery when we smile at the temptation instead of grabbing the chosen drug, be it a phone, an app or mint imperials, leaving one strangely heroic. Feeling and saying NO is noble. People moan about information overload while loading themselves up with things they don’t need, but looking cool goes cold until the next hot thing comes along. That’s corporate seduction for you.


We are all healthily dependent on electricity, computer technology and mobiles for communication, great if you are on the go ( which I’m not ) but it seems to me that when you have a mobile like a concorde flight panel only a tenth of it’s capability gets used. The remainder lays idle while the phone companies push the nine tenths and not the one tenth we use. You pay for that. If the drinks are FREE anywhere, we guzzle like a thirsty duck and so it is with the mobile. FREE TEXTS, FREE MINUTES only encourage use and abuse when communication is not required. Add up the time wasted sending coda texts to people, partners and friends instead of spending time on a train in solitude with self. If you think your life is stressful check your mobile use . . .  another text coming in with trivial chat, no wonder you are stressed.  TEXT ADDICTION is part of the ” needing to know ” aspect of codependency ” and it’s likely you don’t need to know. So if you check anything this New Year January check your mobile bill, check your hourly usage and if it gets too much, delete, delete, delete. Create mobile phone bounderies, not moan that everyone uses you as an ambulance 24/7.


Oh and another thing . . never check someones else’s mobile. It’s unhealthy to discover what you don’t need to know. If you keep doing this to your partner you are in the wrong relationship and liable to be more practiced at texting than sitting down and telling the truth. You can’t blame that on corporate collusion. So texting, sexting . . what’s next?



Living in balance

It’s ironic that most of us choose or have chosen a stimulant to balance us ; booze, gear, puff or nicotine for example, at first it works then it starts to get out of hand, it gets too much and then we are hooked into being taken hostage, kidnapped until we set ourselves free. Recognizing that we are not the most important person on the planet is a beginning in unfurling the freedom flag. Freedom comes from standing back and making informed choices rather than letting the ego run amok. It’s easy to think we are missing something if we don’t join in. Many people don’t possess a mobile phone, an ipod or have access to a computer, and more than survive. Many have learnt that it takes courage to be with yourself, to sometimes dispense with the demands of others or living the “gay lifestyle” whatever that means. In other words, it’s OK not to fit in.
” There’s just too much – too much to learn, too much to see, too much information, too much technology, too many techniques, too many ways to pleasure, too many ways to pain. Too much! How can we be expected to take it all in and deal with it? Perhaps we don’t have to take it all in OR deal with it. What a relief to know that we can go deeper and deeper into whatever we wish, and through that exploration come to understand the everything. Since all of creation is a whole and the oneness of all creation is a reality, our world is indeed a holo-movement or hologram. In exploring the depths of one thing, we gain wisdom about others. Our task, then, is to see what calls to us, what piques our imagination, what stimulates our being and asks us to delve deeper and deeper into it. When we follow this calling, we will find balance. “

These wise words of Anne Wilson Schaef remind me that my current intuition has value. When I was bang at it, using chems every day, I thought that spontaneous thinking and acting out was intuition. What I discovered with therapy was that I was addicted to imbalance and that this spontaneous acting out was unhealthy, unfounded in wisdom, and detrimental to my health. Basically I couldn’t trust myself and conned myself that I could. Most of us come into a recovery space, therapy or personal growth to find balance but the moment we start searching the net, self help books or lists of therapies we can easily become overwhelmed with too much knowledge or choices. Best if we leave it another day then.

Delving deeper into yourself, to check where you harbour imbalance takes investment. It’s not cheap to hire a therapist, coach or counselor but then we cheapen ourselves by NOT delving deeper into what makes us tick, continue to hold resentment or end up with lost weekends, mobile phones and dignity. Think of all the ways you hide from your true self by getting trashed, buying clothes you don’t need with credit cards you have no idea what you owe, using coke to get the party started and deceptions that linger within your soul. All this costs time and money.
Taking the risk to dig deep into your patterning and re-balance your mind proves to be a wiser way to deplete your bank account and create balanced living. Anne Wilson Schaef continues ” In exploring the depths of one thing, we gain wisdom about others. ” What most of us find in therapy or coaching is that we are quite mad. When we get clearer about our own madness we see that the world is madder than first thought. No wonder Antony Newley sang ” Stop the World – I want to get off “. But the result of any therapy is to decide which world we want to live in so ask yourself that question, take stock and seek balance. What perception of the world ” out there ” do you have “. It is after all only a mirror image of your inner world view. Think sanely in balance and the world will change around you.