Messy

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The walk of shame after a party period, especially if you can’t remember it, is not a good look, is it. Smeared slap, lost phones and a trip to Club Drug Clinic may be in order of the wake up. Time Out called me ‘Clubland’s Therapist’ in 2000, my millennium accolade. So if you need a chem check, booze check, lifestyle check or still resentful after a relationship ended several moons ago maybe it’s time to check into COACHING. #chems #booze #alcoholism#codependency #blackouts #lifeaudit #lifecoaching #gaylifecoach #gayfollow#instagay #gayboy #lgbt #gaylondon #gayskype #gaymen #homo#gaystagram #gaypersonalgrowth #addictions #gaylifestyle #gayrelationships 

 

 

LOVE can be BLIND. SEEK HELP. OPEN YOUR EYES.

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Pulling wool over your eyes is the mask of a Narcissist partner. A few clues : Self-centred conversations, ME ME ME, No boundaries, CONTROLLER, Grandiose Personality, double messages, negative emotions, manipulative and a constant complainer. Often about you. LOVE can be BLIND. SEEK HELP. OPEN YOUR EYES. #relationships #codependency #lowesteem #depression #entrapment #manipulation #heldhostage #lgbtq #lgbt #instagay #gaylove #gayrelationships #homo #gaymen #personalgrowth #coaching #healthyrelationships

Smashed phones, smashed lives.

11902593_751292425017355_4365397549991654353_nCHAOS LIVING creates smashed phones, relationships and bank accounts. Aside from the crack & booze problem and other forms of chemical support.

COACHING provides the first steps in cleaning minds, habits and houses. Here when you are ready.

#skypeme #coaching #instagay #gayboy #lgbt #gayguy #gayman #lesbian #transgender #addiction #gayrelationships #homo #gaystagram #chems #alcohol #mentalhealth #gaypersonalgrowth #gaylife #gaylondon #followme

https://www.instagram.com/mygaylifecoach/ 

Comedown Tuesday

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Spending a pinned weekend clubbing, slamming and chemsexing you don’t see much light. Except perhaps for a lighter wallet, another lost phone and emotional disarray. Not a good look if you miss Monday in the workplace either. Get help, cut down, detox and make changes and see the LIGHT switch. #chems #gaylondon #gaycoaching #LGBT #clubbing #slamming #tina #gaylifestyle #gaymen #instagay #gayguy #detox 

#COMEDOWN

When drinking partners become your problem.

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Snogging another woman doesn’t always indicate lesbianism but research has shown ( PACE UK ) that lesbians have a higher propensity to snog a bottle of booze, percentage wise than straight women, while other research has suggested that this applies to all LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 peeps. Alcohol dependency before it becomes alcoholism can be just as troubling especially for family, partner or friends, however, seeking support around codependency issues can be a starting gun for change. #lgbtq #alcohol #alcoholism#alcoholic #alcoholabuse #chems#codependency #recovery #samesexcouple#samesexattraction #lesbian#lesbianskissing #relationshipgoals#recovery #cuttingdown

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https://www.app.com/story/life/wellness/2015/06/15/lesbians-alcohol-abuse/71257832/

Killing Conversation

27332318_10157234494059966_4586605276723177720_nWe know that digital use is killing conversation in LGBTQ circles as much as anywhere else. Apps have offered the opportunity to flirt without follow through. Nothing wrong with that. However if you just TALK in soundbites, emoticons and short texts that include the word HI as starters, you are not exactly in practice for the real world. Chems & Booze are not always the answer for shyness and low esteem so consider COACHING as an option to find your voice.

Cock pics may create a one night shag easy enough but it’s TALKING face to face that creates friendships and relationships of all kinds. #digitaladdiction #cuttingdown #personalgrowth #codependency #alcohol #drugs #depression #socialphobia #chaosliving #debtdisorders #

microsoft-kills-off-old-versions-of-skype-update-or-else-512587-2If you have any of these issues maybe it’s time to TALK to someone, 121 or Skype. Time to have a relationship with yourself maybe. #gayCOACHING 

 

Sunday October 1st. One Day Breathwork Seminar – London (Belgravia/Victoria) 11am-7pm . . Prosper. Manage. Grow.

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Welcome to anyone LGBTQ to this Seminar, the facilitators, team members and many participants are in the LGBTQ tribe so sharing openly and honestly without judgement is easy and beneficial.

Led by Professional Trainers / Breathworkers David Parker and Luisa Bradshaw.

https://urbanlifeclass.me/theteam/parker/    https://urbanlifeclass.me/luisa-bradshaw-breathwork-practitioner-team-co-leader/

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Are you living in the PROBLEM?

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or the ANSWER!  . . Overcome limiting thoughts and patterns that sabotage your prosperity

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Scarcity Consciousness is an element of Codependency, escalating into lower esteem, unhealthy choices, toxic relationships and NOT GOOD ENOUGH mindsets. 

It’s easy to see codependency only as an issue with personal human relationships, when in fact ALL Relationships are affected by fear based SCARCITY, SURVIVAL &  FEAR . . . Your relationships with money, work, social interaction and expanding friendships are just as affected, so working on LOVING YOURSELF is a major gift.

BREATHWORK offers you the perfect opportunity to resolve these issues.

JOIN US at the very sensible time of 11am – 7pm perfect for late risers, out-of-towners and party peeps at our VENUE just a 5 min walk from VICTORIA STATION LONDON. http://www.lightcentrebelgravia.co.uk

WELCOME if you are new to Personal Development, Groupwork or Breathwork. We don’t do special languages, New Age stuff or talking sticks. Other groups do those things so much better than us. We are just a bunch of creative people willing to change habits, addictions and depleting toxic relationships from our lives. If you are new, one of our team can contact you if you wish to answer questions. We don’t sell anything, or sign anyone up, we leave the choice up to you. You don’t need to be Creative, just willing to check out your life and how you can change the impact of all your relationships.

10501688_302332539936610_6051405388470842940_n£70 for the whole day including a GROUP REBIRTH SESSION ( Some concessions are available for £50 if you are already on our list. Delayed/part payment will be individually considered. Paypal to codacoach@yahoo.co.uk      BOOKING : Contact Robert Beck urbanlifeclass@gmail.com (+44) 7913862492 for payment options.

Kings Head Theatre Queer Season 2017

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Coming Clean, Kevin Elyot’s first professionally produced play, looks at the breakdown of a gay couple’s relationship and examines complex questions of fidelity and love.

It was first performed pre AIDS at the Bush Theatre, London, on 3 November 1982.

Now it is being revived for its 35th Anniversary into The King’s Head Theatre 2017 Queer Season; a curated 9 week programme of LGBTQI Theatre opening in July.

King’s Head Theatre’s Artistic Director Adam Spreadbury-Maher directs this first London revival of Kevin Elyot’s play that questions fidelity and the limits of love written before his hit play ‘My Night With Reg’, a noted classic of  queer theatre.

bullandgateThe play is set in a flat in Kentish Town, north London, in 1982. Struggling writer Tony and his partner of five years, Greg, seem to have the perfect relationship. Committed and in love, they are both open to one-night stands as long as they don’t impinge on the relationship. But Tony is starting to yearn for something deeper, something more like monogamy. When he finds out that Greg has been having a full-blown affair with their cleaner, Robert, their differing attitudes towards love and commitment become clear.

In 1970 I moved to Dartmouth Park Hill near Tufnell Park tube close to Kentish Town, so was asked where the characters would have cottaged, drank, cruised and found sexual partners as part of character development.

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Set in pre-AIDS 1982, I was asked by the Director to speak to the cast about Gay Life in the 60’s and 70’s so they could develop character parts and ask questions about their respective character backgrounds, so I started out sharing what information about queers were available during criminalisation and what it was like when I came out in 1967 and the background to it. It was a bit of a hoot really talking for almost 90 mins with them scribbling notes and developing production ideas. They were only 3 days into rehearsal, and no one was around in 1982 so it was an eager audience.

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We discussed Cottaging, Dirk Bogarde films ACCIDENT & VICTIM, Polari, Politics, The Colhearne, Earls Court Gay Scene in the 60’s, Zipper, HIM Magazine, Crisco, COLT Porn Mags, Poppers, pills, Hampstead Heath, Jack Straw’s Castle, BANGS and Marlboro Red Lights tucked into Capped T shirt sleeves. It was like memory lane. 

Check out all the plays in the season here and get OFF your phone for a while.

http://www.kingsheadtheatre.com

 

My results with Conscious Connected Breathwork in 1-2-1 and Groupwork

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Robert “Bubbles” Beck is a director, writer, and performer with a flair for the fabulous. He has worked with David Parker for the last four years as his Personal Assistant – hence the reference to ‘AbFab’ in his name! He first encountered breath-work in 2013 and wrote about his early experiences for urban LIFECLASS. The following article first appeared in May 2014 on www.urbanlifeclass.me 

Follow him on Twitter @robertjamesbeck

The beauty of breath-work is that it allows me the chance to work on myself, as well as assisting others to do the same. While I have only been on this path of personal development for a relatively short amount of time, the profound effect it has had on me is something I am keen to help others discover, and particularly within the gay community.

Something I’ve observed is that those who are most sceptical about breath-work are the ones who have the greatest reaction to it. I was hugely sceptical when I started but after a number of really fantastic breathes, some reading about the science of breath-work, and now my work as an assistant I not only feel better in myself but am helping others on their own journeys. Pretty impressive for someone who used to believe that meditation and self-help seminars were a complete waste of time!!

LBG2015-BREATHE-WEB1280x800One workshop on the 27th April 2014 was a special one for me because it was the first time I was allowed to assist on a breathe this size. Having 15 people breathing at the same time meant that I had to be able to trust myself to provide that comforting hand or to guide someone through an integration independently while the trainers were off in another part of the room. It was a real learning-curve and taught me so much about recognising and appreciating the stunning effects that evolutionary breath-work and a bit of positive thinking can have on a person.

As is usual with our seminars, we began by asking ourselves some difficult questions, supplied by David who was facilitating the session. ‘This is what I want to ACHIEVE’ seems like a simple enough question to answer but comes with all sorts of caveats like “but I won’t achieve it because…” or “achieving that would be great but I don’t have the time…” We all build walls around our dreams that stop us from getting out there and trying to make them happen.

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Similarly, a question like ‘This is what I want to LET GO OF’ can throw up issues where we recognise something is bad for us and yet somehow unable to let go of it. How many of us have been in a relationship that we know is no good and yet are unable to walk away from?

Stopping to ask yourself these questions and forcing yourself to articulate answers can allow ideas to formulate that you’ve probably already had but have been hiding from. This is why I love this kind of work – because it is truly soul-searching and gives you that space to really get to know the person you are and the person you want to be. As a creative individual this is an invaluable exercise.

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These questions also allow you to structure your breathe a little bit.  The first time I breathed I found that focusing on my creative blocks beforehand meant that I became acutely aware of what it was that was stopping me achieving my creative goals and what I could do to break the chain of me blocking myself.

I have also breathed while focusing on my relationships and what it is that I want to get out of them. As a gay man, it can be hard to be truly honest with yourself about your relationships, but I found Breath-work gives you space to reflect and be open with yourself and become the key to becoming healthy and happy.

As well as being a great tool for relaxing and meditating, the fantastic thing about breath-work is that it’s a practical exercise that you can do to help yourself unclog the blocks that are stopping you from achieving your full potential. It also provides you with the space you need to reflect on aspects of your life that might not be working for you at the moment and to help you develop a set of coping mechanisms that will turn your life around. 

breathe-deep-21-300x199So if you’re ready to try something new which could get you out of a slump and transform the way you think about your life then give evolutionary breath-work a go.

My journey from hardened sceptic to total devotee is proof that this kind of work can benefit everyone. So take a breath, dive in, and get ready for results.