Sunday October 1st. One Day Breathwork Seminar – London (Belgravia/Victoria) 11am-7pm . . Prosper. Manage. Grow.

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Welcome to anyone LGBTQ to this Seminar, the facilitators, team members and many participants are in the LGBTQ tribe so sharing openly and honestly without judgement is easy and beneficial.

Led by Professional Trainers / Breathworkers David Parker and Luisa Bradshaw.

https://urbanlifeclass.me/theteam/parker/    https://urbanlifeclass.me/luisa-bradshaw-breathwork-practitioner-team-co-leader/

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Are you living in the PROBLEM?

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or the ANSWER!  . . Overcome limiting thoughts and patterns that sabotage your prosperity

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Scarcity Consciousness is an element of Codependency, escalating into lower esteem, unhealthy choices, toxic relationships and NOT GOOD ENOUGH mindsets. 

It’s easy to see codependency only as an issue with personal human relationships, when in fact ALL Relationships are affected by fear based SCARCITY, SURVIVAL &  FEAR . . . Your relationships with money, work, social interaction and expanding friendships are just as affected, so working on LOVING YOURSELF is a major gift.

BREATHWORK offers you the perfect opportunity to resolve these issues.

JOIN US at the very sensible time of 11am – 7pm perfect for late risers, out-of-towners and party peeps at our VENUE just a 5 min walk from VICTORIA STATION LONDON. http://www.lightcentrebelgravia.co.uk

WELCOME if you are new to Personal Development, Groupwork or Breathwork. We don’t do special languages, New Age stuff or talking sticks. Other groups do those things so much better than us. We are just a bunch of creative people willing to change habits, addictions and depleting toxic relationships from our lives. If you are new, one of our team can contact you if you wish to answer questions. We don’t sell anything, or sign anyone up, we leave the choice up to you. You don’t need to be Creative, just willing to check out your life and how you can change the impact of all your relationships.

10501688_302332539936610_6051405388470842940_n£70 for the whole day including a GROUP REBIRTH SESSION ( Some concessions are available for £50 if you are already on our list. Delayed/part payment will be individually considered. Paypal to codacoach@yahoo.co.uk      BOOKING : Contact Robert Beck urbanlifeclass@gmail.com (+44) 7913862492 for payment options.

Kings Head Theatre Queer Season 2017

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Coming Clean, Kevin Elyot’s first professionally produced play, looks at the breakdown of a gay couple’s relationship and examines complex questions of fidelity and love.

It was first performed pre AIDS at the Bush Theatre, London, on 3 November 1982.

Now it is being revived for its 35th Anniversary into The King’s Head Theatre 2017 Queer Season; a curated 9 week programme of LGBTQI Theatre opening in July.

King’s Head Theatre’s Artistic Director Adam Spreadbury-Maher directs this first London revival of Kevin Elyot’s play that questions fidelity and the limits of love written before his hit play ‘My Night With Reg’, a noted classic of  queer theatre.

bullandgateThe play is set in a flat in Kentish Town, north London, in 1982. Struggling writer Tony and his partner of five years, Greg, seem to have the perfect relationship. Committed and in love, they are both open to one-night stands as long as they don’t impinge on the relationship. But Tony is starting to yearn for something deeper, something more like monogamy. When he finds out that Greg has been having a full-blown affair with their cleaner, Robert, their differing attitudes towards love and commitment become clear.

In 1970 I moved to Dartmouth Park Hill near Tufnell Park tube close to Kentish Town, so was asked where the characters would have cottaged, drank, cruised and found sexual partners as part of character development.

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Set in pre-AIDS 1982, I was asked by the Director to speak to the cast about Gay Life in the 60’s and 70’s so they could develop character parts and ask questions about their respective character backgrounds, so I started out sharing what information about queers were available during criminalisation and what it was like when I came out in 1967 and the background to it. It was a bit of a hoot really talking for almost 90 mins with them scribbling notes and developing production ideas. They were only 3 days into rehearsal, and no one was around in 1982 so it was an eager audience.

We discussed Cottaging, Dirk Bogarde films ACCIDENT & VICTIM, Polari, Politics, The Colhearne, Earls Court Gay Scene in the 60’s, Zipper, HIM Magazine, Crisco, COLT Porn Mags, Poppers, pills, Hampstead Heath, Jack Straw’s Castle, BANGS and Marlboro Red Lights tucked into Capped T shirt sleeves. It was like memory lane. 

Check out all the plays in the season here and get OFF your phone for a while.

http://www.kingsheadtheatre.com

 

My results with Conscious Connected Breathwork in 1-2-1 and Groupwork

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Robert “Bubbles” Beck is a director, writer, and performer with a flair for the fabulous. He has worked with David Parker for the last four years as his Personal Assistant – hence the reference to ‘AbFab’ in his name! He first encountered breath-work in 2013 and wrote about his early experiences for urban LIFECLASS. The following article first appeared in May 2014 on www.urbanlifeclass.me 

Follow him on Twitter @robertjamesbeck

The beauty of breath-work is that it allows me the chance to work on myself, as well as assisting others to do the same. While I have only been on this path of personal development for a relatively short amount of time, the profound effect it has had on me is something I am keen to help others discover, and particularly within the gay community.

Something I’ve observed is that those who are most sceptical about breath-work are the ones who have the greatest reaction to it. I was hugely sceptical when I started but after a number of really fantastic breathes, some reading about the science of breath-work, and now my work as an assistant I not only feel better in myself but am helping others on their own journeys. Pretty impressive for someone who used to believe that meditation and self-help seminars were a complete waste of time!!

LBG2015-BREATHE-WEB1280x800One workshop on the 27th April 2014 was a special one for me because it was the first time I was allowed to assist on a breathe this size. Having 15 people breathing at the same time meant that I had to be able to trust myself to provide that comforting hand or to guide someone through an integration independently while the trainers were off in another part of the room. It was a real learning-curve and taught me so much about recognising and appreciating the stunning effects that evolutionary breath-work and a bit of positive thinking can have on a person.

As is usual with our seminars, we began by asking ourselves some difficult questions, supplied by David who was facilitating the session. ‘This is what I want to ACHIEVE’ seems like a simple enough question to answer but comes with all sorts of caveats like “but I won’t achieve it because…” or “achieving that would be great but I don’t have the time…” We all build walls around our dreams that stop us from getting out there and trying to make them happen.

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Similarly, a question like ‘This is what I want to LET GO OF’ can throw up issues where we recognise something is bad for us and yet somehow unable to let go of it. How many of us have been in a relationship that we know is no good and yet are unable to walk away from?

Stopping to ask yourself these questions and forcing yourself to articulate answers can allow ideas to formulate that you’ve probably already had but have been hiding from. This is why I love this kind of work – because it is truly soul-searching and gives you that space to really get to know the person you are and the person you want to be. As a creative individual this is an invaluable exercise.

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These questions also allow you to structure your breathe a little bit.  The first time I breathed I found that focusing on my creative blocks beforehand meant that I became acutely aware of what it was that was stopping me achieving my creative goals and what I could do to break the chain of me blocking myself.

I have also breathed while focusing on my relationships and what it is that I want to get out of them. As a gay man, it can be hard to be truly honest with yourself about your relationships, but I found Breath-work gives you space to reflect and be open with yourself and become the key to becoming healthy and happy.

As well as being a great tool for relaxing and meditating, the fantastic thing about breath-work is that it’s a practical exercise that you can do to help yourself unclog the blocks that are stopping you from achieving your full potential. It also provides you with the space you need to reflect on aspects of your life that might not be working for you at the moment and to help you develop a set of coping mechanisms that will turn your life around. 

breathe-deep-21-300x199So if you’re ready to try something new which could get you out of a slump and transform the way you think about your life then give evolutionary breath-work a go.

My journey from hardened sceptic to total devotee is proof that this kind of work can benefit everyone. So take a breath, dive in, and get ready for results. 

Bungie Jump Relationships – Can’t stay, can’t leave.

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I’d like to run away from you, but if you never found me I would die, 
I’d like to break the chains you put around me, but I know I never will, 
You stay away and all I do is wonder why the hell I wait for you, 
But when did common sense prevail for lovers when we know it never will, 
Impossible to live with you, but I know, I could never live without you, 
For whatever you do, I never, never, never want to be in love with anyone but you.

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David Parker peruses . . . 

How many relationships do you know that constantly break-up, then return to the mire of the codependent malady, a few months later? I call these BUNGIE JUMP Relationships. Can’t Stay. Can’t Leave. Bounce back. Try one more time.

Pop songs have a lyrical tradition of loss not love. We call them LOVE ALBUMS, Romantic Operas to intimate connection of the heart, revelling in heartbreak, not heart-warming mindfulness, or the concept that ‘everything is temporary’. We don’t want to hear that, it must last forever, or not at all.

The projection of fear, loss, low esteem, financial depletion or other such devices can keep you in an unhealthy relationship, even in the workplace.

Listen to this haunting ‘love song’ of entrapment, capture and coda infusion.

Would you call this LOVE?

If you identify with the lyrics, or feel at loss within your relationships, it may be that your emotional intelligences needs re-balancing instead of riding the bungie-jump of fear.

This classic tome comes highly recommended for adjustments.

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Relationship Coaching can stop you jumping without bouncing back.

A FREE INTRODUCTION explains the process with no obligation to continue.

Email a brief history or problem for a no-selling, no obligation, no sign-up FREE 2 hour Introduction or ask for a 30 min Skype with a brief assessment of where you need direction. Any email questions will be answered before a Free Introduction booked. Here to help.

This where you begin to take responsibility for yourself, not your partner.  

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mygaytherapist@yahoo.co.uk

Trending in 2016 : Breathing Education, still trending in 2017.

AHEAD OF HIS TIME : DAVID PARKER ( mygaytherapist.me ) has over 25 years experience as a Breathworker, Relationship Coach & Trainer, leading Residentials, Seminars and Workshops in the UK, Australia, South America, Morocco, Canada, Sweden, Italy, Austria, Estonia, Spain and Goa in India. 

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Trending Agencies have often been called ‘the backbone of marketing’. You may have wondered how when you shop for Home Furnishing, for example, there is a common thread built into current styles, colour, patterns and textures. In wearable fashion, the same thing occurs, this season has one colour mix everywhere, replaced by another 6 months later, how does that happen? This is the role of Trend & Fashion Forecasting.

Leading Agencies like New York based SPARKS & HONEY predict lifestyle trends, while companies in the fashion retail sector use fashion forecasters like WGSN, who predict over 2 years ahead what we will be wearing.

This unites designers, factories, and analysts together to plan ahead cost effectively, thus creating global trends, they hope we will buy or buy into. But it can be risky, local weather, and climate change, can deeply upset fashion trends, and who can predict what clothes we will need in 2 years time while seasonal, crazy weather patterns, can deeply effect a corporate balance sheet.

imagesLIFESTYLE TRENDS, however are easier to predict, based on factual past evidence of what is rising, falling and coming into play. The speed of high technology has created a faster turnaround of ‘what’s in and what’s out’, creating equal havoc for the leisure industry, as for retail fashion.

I recall, that in 1980 I was told by budding computer experts that ‘computers solve one problem while creating another’. How prophetic. 

The pace of information overload, constant mobile phone use, 24/7 contactability, and increasing low wage economies today, has created a more stressful society, with decreasing boundaries and relationship turmoil. No wonder we have barely time to BREATHE. No wonder we need to learn how to do it efficiently and I teach you how, in 121 or Groupwork. #BREATHE

So it comes as little surprise that leading forecaster SPARKS & HONEY has cited BREATHING EDUCATION as one of the essential trends of 2016.

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© SPARKS & HONEY 2015 
 Image: Kite_rin / SHUTTERSTOCK

I have been advocating the practice of Conscious Connected Breathwork for over 25 years – now science has caught up – from New Age to Internet Age.

SPARKS & HONEY say’s :

imagesMost humans take 20,000 to 30,000 breaths daily BUT MOST DON”T KNOW HOW TO DO IT PROPERLY. Now modern science is saying that breathing ( like drinking water and getting a good nights sleep ) can help lower blood pressure, boost immunity, reduce stress and fight obesity.

BREATHING RETREATS and workshops featuring belly breathing, conscious breathing, and yogic breathing are on the rise. We will see more attention to breathing as a psychotherapeutic tool in 2016.

CULTURAL CHALLENGE : Try to find and attend a breathing class where you live. 

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(We run 3 BREATHING Groups a month in London. Contact us.)  So now you know!

Click the BREATHWORK link : https://mygaytherapist.me/breathwork/

Sex Addiction. . . More, more, more . . .

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An addict will always get their fix, whatever obstacles are placed before them, and if your fix is sex then the internet is a dealers den. It’s not just immigration hoo-ha that is filling UK newspapers, but Prime Minister Cameron’s demand to block online porn, in ‘order to protect children’, bastard love-child of the so called ‘snoopers charter’.

We’ve heard this message before when homos were banged up in prison, before they were de-criminalised in 1967, in order to ‘protect children’ and that never worked as we weren’t peodophiles, but paid the price for ignorance. Nor will this, but that’s a different story, this blog is about sex addiction costing you more than money, and blocking porn isn’t the answer.

sex-addictionSince 60’s liberation, gay men have notoriously been labeled ‘promiscuous’, in much the same way that society called women that enjoyed sex ‘whores’. Neither viewpoints hold water, nor does a current study by the University of California, published last week, on the respected Socioaffective Neuroscience & Psychology site, pronouncing that “Sexual desire, not hypersexuality, is related to neurophysiological responses elicited by sexual images ( not sex addiction )”. 

This small study of 53 people ( including 13 females ) with no indication of sexuality preferences, has been panned from all quarters as meaningless, even though it hit headlines : in short, it concludes that sex addiction is a fallacy and people are just plain horny. Partners of sex addicts would certainly disagree, with this conclusion.

However, the rise of the internet, has increased opportunity for sexual exploration and therefore sexual compulsive behaviour can become unchecked. My view is that the internet has offered space for sexual and emotional discovery, that encourages the notion that sexuality is not so black or white, that developing grey areas of ‘men who have sex with men’ and bi-curious, have enlightened those who in the past were simply suppressed or confused.

However, sex addiction IS real. You know at least one sexual compulsive who needs more, more more, and it may be you. So where do you begin to arrest this condition? Let’s start here :

Cruise-Control-Weiss-Robert-9781555838218Robert Weiss in his book CRUISE CONTROL / Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, writes on the topic of seeking a cure :

” Many people who read books like this one enter 12 Step programs, seek therapy, and check into treatment centers are seeking ” the answer”. They want to solve all their problems and answer all their questions – as if their addiction were an equation in a maths quiz.

Some will drop out or give up when they find out that they aren’t going to be cured once they figure it out. The problem is that they don’t actually want or know how to solve the problem; somehow they think that having that “Ah-ha” moment of understanding will be enough.

No amount of information is going to stop a sex addict from repeating patterns of problem behavior. You can only meaningfully change your behavior by taking deliberate, ongoing, active, and committed steps toward change. While this and previous chapters have described and discussed understanding sexual addiction, upcoming chapters will focus on creating change. As we move forward, we’ll learn how to make this happen one day at a time. But first, let’s consider how party drugs and other addictive substances become intertwined with sex addiction”.

Change occurs through action not just understanding, and recovery stems from acting out the unfamiliar. Maybe you are in an open relationship where goal posts keep changing or one wants more than discussed when it comes to boundaries. Yet the perception of sex addicts fisting themselves in a selfie or sauna sex salivation is also a fallacy, as as many kinds of sex addicts abound as the range of fetishes on a porn site. Often sexual compulsives are serial relationship finders believing that regular relationship sex will keep them away from pursuing addictive habits, but it rarely works.

mirror-man-150x150Most sex addicts hunt alone anonymously, while many are also romance addicts addicted to the chase, sexting, flirting, grooming, arranging and avoiding feelings of ‘being alone’ and seeking approval. Real approval comes from looking in your own mirror, not outside of it.

In recovery, healthily ‘being alone’ is essential in determining feelings of withdrawal, patterning and self valuation. Many support groups for sex addiction exist, check the net, or purchasing the book above, will at least acknowledge that sexual activity is getting out of hand and can be resolved.

Maybe some chems need to be dropped or reducing alcohol if you use frequently. We know that some things go together like apple pie and custard, but sex addiction also has it’s own companions : and you know what they are and where they lead.