Sunday October 1st. One Day Breathwork Seminar – London (Belgravia/Victoria) 11am-7pm . . Prosper. Manage. Grow.

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Welcome to anyone LGBTQ to this Seminar, the facilitators, team members and many participants are in the LGBTQ tribe so sharing openly and honestly without judgement is easy and beneficial.

Led by Professional Trainers / Breathworkers David Parker and Luisa Bradshaw.

https://urbanlifeclass.me/theteam/parker/    https://urbanlifeclass.me/luisa-bradshaw-breathwork-practitioner-team-co-leader/

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Are you living in the PROBLEM?

scarcity

or the ANSWER!  . . Overcome limiting thoughts and patterns that sabotage your prosperity

scarcity

Scarcity Consciousness is an element of Codependency, escalating into lower esteem, unhealthy choices, toxic relationships and NOT GOOD ENOUGH mindsets. 

It’s easy to see codependency only as an issue with personal human relationships, when in fact ALL Relationships are affected by fear based SCARCITY, SURVIVAL &  FEAR . . . Your relationships with money, work, social interaction and expanding friendships are just as affected, so working on LOVING YOURSELF is a major gift.

BREATHWORK offers you the perfect opportunity to resolve these issues.

JOIN US at the very sensible time of 11am – 7pm perfect for late risers, out-of-towners and party peeps at our VENUE just a 5 min walk from VICTORIA STATION LONDON. http://www.lightcentrebelgravia.co.uk

WELCOME if you are new to Personal Development, Groupwork or Breathwork. We don’t do special languages, New Age stuff or talking sticks. Other groups do those things so much better than us. We are just a bunch of creative people willing to change habits, addictions and depleting toxic relationships from our lives. If you are new, one of our team can contact you if you wish to answer questions. We don’t sell anything, or sign anyone up, we leave the choice up to you. You don’t need to be Creative, just willing to check out your life and how you can change the impact of all your relationships.

10501688_302332539936610_6051405388470842940_n£70 for the whole day including a GROUP REBIRTH SESSION ( Some concessions are available for £50 if you are already on our list. Delayed/part payment will be individually considered. Paypal to codacoach@yahoo.co.uk      BOOKING : Contact Robert Beck urbanlifeclass@gmail.com (+44) 7913862492 for payment options.

Selective memory

man-computer-628Using the web, on computer or smartphone, to find love, approval, instant sex or another partner is unwise before you begin to consider repairing past relationships. That old adage ‘insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result’ certainly rings true. Time for a check-in surely on past and present behaviour, after all, when you drive a car without lessons you often end up in Accident & Emergency. What makes you think that driving a relationship without help is wise? Look at your track record.

When you scour over the past like an anthropologist scraping away with a trowel, to find the jewel to make all the emotional pain worthwhile, memory can be selective. The most heard quote in relationship repair coaching is likely to be ‘the sex was really good’, followed by ‘after a row’.

Some partners need a row, to feel the fear of loss, before the sexual act brings bonding, capture, safety and security back to the fore. If a relationship lasts, and many do, it does not mean its functional, for without support, education and confrontation, all you get is what you think a relationship is : a laboratory of battle, let down and discontent. Resentments you thought you had drowned eventually learn to swim. Unconditional love defies battle but in order to achieve this level of bliss, battle needs to leave the heart.

9781439117699_p0_v2_s260x420When you are knee deep in self-help books, in recovery or therapy it takes a while to dig deep, to find the innocent perfection that occurred before life became scarred, disappointing or laden with guilt. 
One thing is sure – doing it alone is difficult – many read books or attend group but few do the exercises as a path to emotional progress. Sharing pain, fears and selective memories in the beginning of any therapeutic process is like having a romance with the mind . .  it’s light, new and inspiring. After a while the concentration wavers, remembrance becomes painful and fight or flight turns up with a smirk to test your nerve. In her latest book THE NEW CODEPENDENCY, the Queen of Coda Recovery, Melody Beattie writes, in the chapter called : Healing what hurts, the following :
 
” As codependency hit the mainstream, people not in recovery talked about ideas such as self-care and limits. We recognised that if a problem or illness – from Alzheimer’s Disease to a spinal cord injury – affects one family member, it affects the whole family too. What affects one part affects the whole. Support groups for caregivers spread like wildfire. Caregivers need care, too. Internet groups and chat rooms have been added to the list of resources. ( There wasn’t a self-help section when Codependent No More first came out ). Groups, therapists, treatment centres, support and information saturated society – from OPRAH to the news-stands. Less self-help? There’s never been more. ”
 
But having this level of support available does not mean it will be picked up. Most pick up information in a crisis, while self-care really involves prevention to avoid crisis. The first point of reference in self-care is to ask for help and stay the distance, so journey on and avoid selective memory. It’s easy to use selective memory to convince that it ” wasn’t that bad ” looking back over past and present relationships in appraisal. 
Many air brush over truth, romanticise the pain and people please, rather than re-experience or even own the battle within. This is what I call ” can’t leave/can’t stay ” bungie jump relationships, because when partners hit the wall of denial and fear, they bounce back to a space of familiarity, even one saturated in low esteem and fear of abandonment. The easiest way to begin healing the hurts, in my experience, is to find another person in therapy, recovery or in groupwork. It’s harder to be in denial when you hear someone else telling your story.Then it’s more likely that the light bulbs will come on, when you realise and accept, the patterns of pain you can’t let go of.
 
sex-addictionHealthy relationships avoid babysitting, parenting and distorted truths.There is no point clearing the wreckage of the past, only to create another archaeological dig decades later. So it makes sense to tell the truth faster, to find your voice, emotional equality and create a union worthy of remembrance.
Today’s ‘New Codependencies’ and attachments in the internet age are as plentiful as the self help groups available to help and heal, so it makes sense to combat one with the other. Many LGBT groups exist online if your locality offers no support, as well as telephone Helplines, so reach out. In the early 80’s I was Art Editor of a Computer Management magazine, way before home computers were de rigueur. At the interview I said ‘but I don’t know anything about computers’, their reply was concise ‘ You don’t need to, be creative, all you need to know is that computers solve one problem and create another!’ Who would have thought that smartphone, sexting, gaming and porn would become some of those problems over the past decade, in maintaining a relationship?
 
Owning your own part in relationship breakdown is halfway to ending a destructive cycle like ‘blaming the partner’. That rarely works. Nor does blaming yourself, so eradicate blame, it only breeds resentment and we know where that leads. Living a healthy emotional life means letting go of  negativity and  working on emotional clean-up as you go along. Selective memory serves only a codependent mind, for truth precedes peace, clarity precedes serenity and unconditional love is the result.