Queer ‘Two Spirit’ Shamans

Part of my ‘Spiritual Journey’ has been dealing with the word SHAMAN in application to myself. In 2004 I was asked to speak at a weekend conference on BREATHWORK in Milan Italy. I did my slot on Gay Relationships ( the term queer not used then ), in fact I had great problems using the term GAY to a heterosexual Italian crowd, they preferred ‘homosexual’ still believing it was a mental illness – but must push on . . . 

The next speaker, topping the bill, was a spanish woman, who I had met at other conferences, seen as quite unbalanced by this conservative crowd, suddenly asking ME without discussion, fuming at my reception, to assist in her Shamanic feather waving ceremony. I was commanded to hold the feathers!

I was a bit shocked and frankly embarrassed, but then she proceeded to totally demolish listeners by stating ( out of the blue ) I WAS A SHAMAN, an URBAN QUEER SHAMEN, someone who had healed himself from addictions and long held chronic disease. THAT SHUT THEM UP. 

It has taken me 20 years to accept it finally, that my somatic breathwork work is SHAMANIC. It’s a recent conclusion so I’m putting it out there as fact, as I am late to the party with over 35 years experience in assisting others to heal themselves. I am now over 42 years clean & sober too, and a phrase I picked up over the years in recovery rooms is ” you can’t give away what you haven’t got!”. EXPERIENCE is GOLD – with or without feathers.

A “Queer Two Spirit Shaman” refers to a Native American individual who embodies both masculine and feminine spiritual qualities, often taking on a role as a healer or spiritual leader within their community, and whose gender identity falls outside of the Western binary, historically described using the term “berdache” by Europeans, now considered outdated and often offensive; “Two Spirit” is the preferred term used by Indigenous people to describe this identity. 

Key points about this term:

  • “Two Spirit”:This is the contemporary, respectful term used by Indigenous people to describe individuals who embody both masculine and feminine spirits, often associated with special spiritual roles like shamanism. 
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  • “Berdache”:This term, originating from French, was used by European anthropologists to describe Native American people who did not conform to Western gender norms, but is now considered derogatory and should be avoided. 
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  • Shamanistic role:Historically, Two Spirit individuals often held significant spiritual positions within their tribes, acting as healers, visionaries, and ceremonial leaders. 
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  • Queer identity:“Queer” in this context encompasses the non-heteronormative aspects of a Two Spirit person’s gender identity and sexual orientation. 

Having said all that – Coaching, Life Audit and ‘Conscious Connected’  Rebirthing Breathwork that I provide – does NOT include feathers, ceremonies, ‘shrooms, ayahuasca, cacao or any mood altering substance. 

As alternative, Somatic Shamanic Breathwork I practice gets you high, ( like coming up on E – I keep hearing ) spiritually connected with safe emotional release of anxiety, depressions and blocked potentials. No Drumwork or talking sticks either. Specialised Practitioners do that so much better than me.

Antony Hegarty, of Antony & the Johnsons is a fan of the book The Spirit and the Flesh. He asked its author, Walter L Williams, to write a feature for guardian.co.uk/music on the ‘two-spirit’ tradition in Native American culture 

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2010/oct/11/two-spirit-people-north-america

What does “Queer” and “Genderqueer” mean?

Although the term “queer” has been around for a while, the perception and meaning has evolved as of late. 

What does “Queer” mean? Why are younger generations reclaiming the word Queer?

What does “Queer” and “Genderqueer” mean?

“Queer” has been adopted as an all-encompassing term for those who do not identify as straight or cisgender, but prefer not to use a more specific term.  With regard to gender identity, the term “gender queer” is synonymous to “not cisgender”. 

Why is the history of the term  “Queer” so significant?

Some feel the term “queer” cannot be its history. The term used to be considered a slur towards gay men or those otherwise “sexually deviant”, stemming from the original definition of “strange”. 

Now, “queer” has become a symbol of defiance and empowerment, and more and more, it is becoming a political statement of their own agency. With its many definitions, “queer” evades exclusivity. Once used as a slur to ostracize, the term is now  reclaimed to bring together a community of people who identify with it. It can also be used interchangeably with “LGBTQ+”, a term sometimes seen as too wordy to use as an overarching identifier.

Why are younger generations reclaiming Queer?

What does it mean for a slur to be reclaimed? 

“Reclamation is a form of socio-political protest that seeks to re-shape oppressive social practices by controlling what can be done with words.” – Popa-Wyatt

With pithy catchphrases on Pride posters like “We’re here, we’re queer”, the word has been reclaimed by many in the LGBTQ+ community, especially youth. 

Reclamation should not be seen as disregarding the history of the term, but a way of evolving with our language.

Politics of Queer 

“Queer” can be seen a political movement, against its use as a slur and its perception of a stagnant identity. Author José Esteban Muñoz once said,“Queerness is an ideality…we can feel it as the warm illumination of a horizon imbued with potentiality” (Cruising Utopia: The Then and There of Queer Futurity). Queerness is a potential and a future, not something that is stagnant. 

It can also bring together those of different experiences into not one identity, but instead one community defying heteronormativity.  In the book Keywords For Gender and Sexuality Studies, author Chandan Reddy sheds light on political usage of queer. Queer is claimed by “[t]hose who seek more to disturb, shatter, or undermine the heteronormative cultural order than to be included or represented by that culture and order especially claim the term”. 

What Queer brings to the community

For many, the term Queer is a resistance to the pressure to conform or categorize to one identity. Some people might think that this sounds counterintuitive: use a term to not use a term? Queer is often used as an umbrella meant to catch those not aligning with the specificity of many commonly used terms. It resists identifying self, and instead identifies community. This reflection of belonging to community reflects the importance of accepting the multi-faceted nature of a word like queer. 

Queer has become a symbol of defiance: both an acknowledgement of the community’s history, and a nod to disruption of heteronormativity. But ultimately, it has become a symbol of the LGBTQ+ community’s unity and resilience. 

Sources

The New Woman: Literary Modernism, Queer Theory, and the Trans Feminine Allegoryby Emma Heaney

Cruising Utopia: The Then and There of Queer Futurity by José Esteban Muñoz

Messy

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The walk of shame after a party period, especially if you can’t remember it, is not a good look, is it. Smeared slap, lost phones and a trip to Club Drug Clinic may be in order of the wake up. Time Out called me ‘Clubland’s Therapist’ in 2000, my millennium accolade. So if you need a chem check, booze check, lifestyle check or still resentful after a relationship ended several moons ago maybe it’s time to check into COACHING. #chems #booze #alcoholism#codependency #blackouts #lifeaudit #lifecoaching #gaylifecoach #gayfollow#instagay #gayboy #lgbt #gaylondon #gayskype #gaymen #homo#gaystagram #gaypersonalgrowth #addictions #gaylifestyle #gayrelationships 

 

LOVE can be BLIND. SEEK HELP. OPEN YOUR EYES.

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Pulling wool over your eyes is the mask of a Narcissist partner. A few clues : Self-centred conversations, ME ME ME, No boundaries, CONTROLLER, Grandiose Personality, double messages, negative emotions, manipulative and a constant complainer. Often about you. LOVE can be BLIND. SEEK HELP. OPEN YOUR EYES. #relationships #codependency #lowesteem #depression #entrapment #manipulation #heldhostage #lgbtq #lgbt #instagay #gaylove #gayrelationships #homo #gaymen #personalgrowth #coaching #healthyrelationships

When drinking partners become your problem.

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Snogging another woman doesn’t always indicate lesbianism but research has shown ( PACE UK ) that lesbians have a higher propensity to snog a bottle of booze, percentage wise than straight women, while other research has suggested that this applies to all LGBTQ 🏳️‍🌈 peeps. Alcohol dependency before it becomes alcoholism can be just as troubling especially for family, partner or friends, however, seeking support around codependency issues can be a starting gun for change. #lgbtq #alcohol #alcoholism#alcoholic #alcoholabuse #chems#codependency #recovery #samesexcouple#samesexattraction #lesbian#lesbianskissing #relationshipgoals#recovery #cuttingdown

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https://www.app.com/story/life/wellness/2015/06/15/lesbians-alcohol-abuse/71257832/

Killing Conversation

27332318_10157234494059966_4586605276723177720_nWe know that digital use is killing conversation in LGBTQ circles as much as anywhere else. Apps have offered the opportunity to flirt without follow through. Nothing wrong with that. However if you just TALK in soundbites, emoticons and short texts that include the word HI as starters, you are not exactly in practice for the real world. Chems & Booze are not always the answer for shyness and low esteem so consider COACHING as an option to find your voice.

Cock pics may create a one night shag easy enough but it’s TALKING face to face that creates friendships and relationships of all kinds. #digitaladdiction #cuttingdown #personalgrowth #codependency #alcohol #drugs #depression #socialphobia #chaosliving #debtdisorders #

microsoft-kills-off-old-versions-of-skype-update-or-else-512587-2If you have any of these issues maybe it’s time to TALK to someone, 121 or Skype. Time to have a relationship with yourself maybe. #gayCOACHING 

 

Sunday October 1st. One Day Breathwork Seminar – London (Belgravia/Victoria) 11am-7pm . . Prosper. Manage. Grow.

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Welcome to anyone LGBTQ to this Seminar, the facilitators, team members and many participants are in the LGBTQ tribe so sharing openly and honestly without judgement is easy and beneficial.

Led by Professional Trainers / Breathworkers David Parker and Luisa Bradshaw.

https://urbanlifeclass.me/theteam/parker/    https://urbanlifeclass.me/luisa-bradshaw-breathwork-practitioner-team-co-leader/

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Are you living in the PROBLEM?

scarcity

or the ANSWER!  . . Overcome limiting thoughts and patterns that sabotage your prosperity

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Scarcity Consciousness is an element of Codependency, escalating into lower esteem, unhealthy choices, toxic relationships and NOT GOOD ENOUGH mindsets. 

It’s easy to see codependency only as an issue with personal human relationships, when in fact ALL Relationships are affected by fear based SCARCITY, SURVIVAL &  FEAR . . . Your relationships with money, work, social interaction and expanding friendships are just as affected, so working on LOVING YOURSELF is a major gift.

BREATHWORK offers you the perfect opportunity to resolve these issues.

JOIN US at the very sensible time of 11am – 7pm perfect for late risers, out-of-towners and party peeps at our VENUE just a 5 min walk from VICTORIA STATION LONDON. http://www.lightcentrebelgravia.co.uk

WELCOME if you are new to Personal Development, Groupwork or Breathwork. We don’t do special languages, New Age stuff or talking sticks. Other groups do those things so much better than us. We are just a bunch of creative people willing to change habits, addictions and depleting toxic relationships from our lives. If you are new, one of our team can contact you if you wish to answer questions. We don’t sell anything, or sign anyone up, we leave the choice up to you. You don’t need to be Creative, just willing to check out your life and how you can change the impact of all your relationships.

10501688_302332539936610_6051405388470842940_n£70 for the whole day including a GROUP REBIRTH SESSION ( Some concessions are available for £50 if you are already on our list. Delayed/part payment will be individually considered. Paypal to codacoach@yahoo.co.uk      BOOKING : Contact Robert Beck urbanlifeclass@gmail.com (+44) 7913862492 for payment options.

Dirtyboyz Interview

I was recently interviewed by the porn and fetish magazine, Dirtyboyz, which is attached to the well-known “Boyz” publication group, about the 50th anniversary of the partial decriminalisation on homosexuality in England and Wales. 

David Bridle, the MD at Boyz, said about the issue “I’m really proud of the new issue of Dirtyboyz – out today – which marks the 50 year anniversary of the passing of the Sexual Offences Act with a ‘1967 Decriminalisation Special: When gay sex was a crime’. The edition includes an interview with gay therapist David Parker, an homage to Joe Orton by Daniel Warner and a cover feature interview with the great British gay porn photographer Mike Arlen by Adam Clifford – and Mike photographed Adam for our 1960s style black and white cover. Dirtyboyz is for gay adults only and can be picked up now in London at gay shops, saunas and over-18 bars and clubs – and across the UK.”

See the full interview from Dirtyboyz Issue 48 August 2017 below.

David Parker 1David Parker 2

Queer City : Who Do You Think You Are?

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Queer History is the flavour of the month right now, with the UK celebrating 50 years since the partial-decriminalisation of Homosexuality via the Sexual Offences Act 1967. Partial because decriminalisation ended at age 21, any man or teenager under that age were not deemed consenting adults, so eligible for the long arm of the law. The legal age of consent was reduced to 18 in 1994 and to 16 in 2001. 

Coming out is a tough enough process in itself, for the majority, especially to oneself, let alone family, friends and co-workers. Fuelled with trepidation, projection and fear of rejection, we often have no method to follow, no manual or mentor. Thankfully the internet and You Tube ‘Coming Out’ vids at least offers examples, ideas and results to savour.

Ancestry websites and a certain TV programme support the opportunity to discover your own family history as a genetic thread to WHO YOU ARE, complete with family secrets, mis-told information about past relatives, family illnesses, physical, emotional and mental conditions but no birth, marriage or death certificate is going mention Queer, Homosexual or Gay.

You are probably the first in your family to be OUT. Honour it.

51R8FSHZAPL._SX305_BO1,204,203,200_My own experience of releasing genetic  shame around a differing sexuality came about reading a book in the early nineties, right in the middle of the AIDS epidemic.

I got sent two books, one still in print, one not. The first was Spirit and the Flesh : Sexual Diversity in American Indian Culture ( in print ) and Rictor Norton’s Mother Clap’s Molly House : the Gay Subculture in England 1700-1830, detailed court records of meeting places, crimes of same-sex activity and the hangman’s noose for a rumble fumble in alley-ways, cruising grounds and latrines. 

It taught me that giving myself THE GIFT OF QUEER HISTORY told me who I was, could be, and how I could drop the shame that Oscar Wilde called “the love that dare not speak its name” at his trial for gross indecency. Not Wilde’s prose, as many think, but a line from ‘Bosie’, Wilde’s lover, Lord Alfred Douglas’s fair-handed poem “Two Loves” in 1894.

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A few months ago Peter Ackroyd published Queer City : Gay London from the Romans to the present day, and it’s a real historical TREAT. Who knew that sodomy was so popular?

Do check out the Reviews online and discover the genetic link between you and Roman Soldiers, Middle Age Monks, the Vice of the Normans, Georgian Coffee House Mollies, Dandies, Queens at Court, Renters, Cottagers, 20th Century Clubbers and PRIDE as it is today.

This is your MAP, your family, your spirit lineage and shame-based facility to crush, to rise up from, and give yourself THE GIFT OF HISTORY to nurture, OWN and honour a path well trodden.

Kings Head Theatre Queer Season 2017

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Coming Clean, Kevin Elyot’s first professionally produced play, looks at the breakdown of a gay couple’s relationship and examines complex questions of fidelity and love.

It was first performed pre AIDS at the Bush Theatre, London, on 3 November 1982.

Now it is being revived for its 35th Anniversary into The King’s Head Theatre 2017 Queer Season; a curated 9 week programme of LGBTQI Theatre opening in July.

King’s Head Theatre’s Artistic Director Adam Spreadbury-Maher directs this first London revival of Kevin Elyot’s play that questions fidelity and the limits of love written before his hit play ‘My Night With Reg’, a noted classic of  queer theatre.

bullandgateThe play is set in a flat in Kentish Town, north London, in 1982. Struggling writer Tony and his partner of five years, Greg, seem to have the perfect relationship. Committed and in love, they are both open to one-night stands as long as they don’t impinge on the relationship. But Tony is starting to yearn for something deeper, something more like monogamy. When he finds out that Greg has been having a full-blown affair with their cleaner, Robert, their differing attitudes towards love and commitment become clear.

In 1970 I moved to Dartmouth Park Hill near Tufnell Park tube close to Kentish Town, so was asked where the characters would have cottaged, drank, cruised and found sexual partners as part of character development.

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Set in pre-AIDS 1982, I was asked by the Director to speak to the cast about Gay Life in the 60’s and 70’s so they could develop character parts and ask questions about their respective character backgrounds, so I started out sharing what information about queers were available during criminalisation and what it was like when I came out in 1967 and the background to it. It was a bit of a hoot really talking for almost 90 mins with them scribbling notes and developing production ideas. They were only 3 days into rehearsal, and no one was around in 1982 so it was an eager audience.

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We discussed Cottaging, Dirk Bogarde films ACCIDENT & VICTIM, Polari, Politics, The Colhearne, Earls Court Gay Scene in the 60’s, Zipper, HIM Magazine, Crisco, COLT Porn Mags, Poppers, pills, Hampstead Heath, Jack Straw’s Castle, BANGS and Marlboro Red Lights tucked into Capped T shirt sleeves. It was like memory lane. 

Check out all the plays in the season here and get OFF your phone for a while.

http://www.kingsheadtheatre.com